Parenting Basics & Divorce

What you should and should not do during and after a divorce

The following information is general in nature and is not intended for the purpose of providing legal advice.  As with any legal matter, you should consult with a lawyer about the facts and circumstances of your unique case.

  • Put your children’s welfare ahead of your conflict with your former spouse.
  • Remember that children need two parents. Help your children maintain a positive relationship with their other parent; give them permission to love the other parent.
  • Show respect for the other parent as a parent. Do not make derogatory remarks about the other parent to or in front of the children.  Do not allow other to do so either.
  • Honor your visitation schedule. Always notify the other parent if you will be late or cannot exercise your time with the children.  Children see missed visits, especially without notification, as rejection.
  • Do not use the children as “message carriers” or spies to get information about the other parent or to send information to the other parent. Don’t cross-examine the children when they return from the other parent’s home.  Don’t use the children to collect child support.  Strive for agreement on major decisions about your child’s welfare and discipline, so one parent isn’t undermining the other.
  • Use common sense in exercising your custodial and visitation rights. Follow the old adage: Do not make a mountain out of a molehill.  Follow the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.